a PEEK into MY world
MAN .. this blog was suppose to be a private blog... but too many people know about this now.. its causing TROUBLE
soo today.. sharon and christine were gone from school to take the AP spanish test.. so it felt alll lonely... but it's all good cuz there was still renee and the Alices. DUDE.. the MC guys are TRYING TO TAKE our MG table!!!! we CANNOT let it HAPPEN! cuz me and Akim are the "protectors of the world" and WE "protect the WORLD"!!! AHHAHHAAHHAA
well today.. afterschool i watched a tennis game. whitney vs. cerritos. So me and sharon go get ice cream before that.. and i HEAR what happens to christine.. OMG... i REALLY cant stand her dad.. she has to go through such gay stuff. its really sad.. i FEEL horrible for her.. SOOO.. she might not even be able to go to prom.. but she said she can talk her parents into it.. so hopefully it'll all work out..
so then we head over to the tennis game.. and then guess who i see... mike's gf.. HAHAHAH it was weird? i dont know.. i dont think she recognizes me.. or i ono.. i got introduced to her once... who knows... so i thought that was random... or maybe not since she does go to cerritos and is on the tennis team.. ahhahaha
so i watch andys tennis game with sharon.. and he was doing fine in the beginning.. and then.. it went alllll the way to tie-breakers, and then..................... he lost... by 2 points.. :( it was really close... soo then he gets in a scary mood :( so then i get the courage to say good game to him.. and he kinda brushes me off... so im like OKAY.. whateverss... so i take it in.. THEN brian tells me to go give him a hug and am all like.. ARE YOU SURE?!?! and then hes like.. give him a hug now... so THEN i gather more courage.. and then give him a hug.. and... he pushes me away... it sucks.. i got REJECTED and BURNEEEDDD. so NOW i got reslly scared of him.. and i ran away and dropped sharon off... its not my fault i get scared and intimidated easily.. but i was really scared.. wow its weird.. now thinking about it.. its making me scared again..
thats what i noticed about myself.. i get scared of people really easily.. its not a good thing. but i cant help it.. im just weak like that.. i wish i was stronger.. i wish i didnt care as much.. i regret.. i regret alot.. i want to go back 5 months ago... just to change some stuff.. i dont know how it happened.. actaully i do.. but i didnt think it was gonna go on for that long... and since it did go for that long.. things changed just like that for me.. im still a teenager.. and i get easily influenced.. but i didnt tell you tonight how much i regreted and wished just to go back.. at the beginning.. i was being stubborn about it and hoping that you would invite to watch stuff.. but you never did.. so then i started doing my own business and got caught up with that crap.. but sooo many times i looked back.. and wished that i was there.. in your room doing stuff with you guys.. but i didnt do anything and just went on. i would wish to get back into that stuff but i felt like it would be too weird.. i dont know why. and i guess.. i would get jealous.. and thats why i went out, so i wouldnt have to see you 2 having fun. and now everything feels so different.. so i dont know what to do.
soo today.. sharon and christine were gone from school to take the AP spanish test.. so it felt alll lonely... but it's all good cuz there was still renee and the Alices. DUDE.. the MC guys are TRYING TO TAKE our MG table!!!! we CANNOT let it HAPPEN! cuz me and Akim are the "protectors of the world" and WE "protect the WORLD"!!! AHHAHHAAHHAA
well today.. afterschool i watched a tennis game. whitney vs. cerritos. So me and sharon go get ice cream before that.. and i HEAR what happens to christine.. OMG... i REALLY cant stand her dad.. she has to go through such gay stuff. its really sad.. i FEEL horrible for her.. SOOO.. she might not even be able to go to prom.. but she said she can talk her parents into it.. so hopefully it'll all work out..
so then we head over to the tennis game.. and then guess who i see... mike's gf.. HAHAHAH it was weird? i dont know.. i dont think she recognizes me.. or i ono.. i got introduced to her once... who knows... so i thought that was random... or maybe not since she does go to cerritos and is on the tennis team.. ahhahaha
so i watch andys tennis game with sharon.. and he was doing fine in the beginning.. and then.. it went alllll the way to tie-breakers, and then..................... he lost... by 2 points.. :( it was really close... soo then he gets in a scary mood :( so then i get the courage to say good game to him.. and he kinda brushes me off... so im like OKAY.. whateverss... so i take it in.. THEN brian tells me to go give him a hug and am all like.. ARE YOU SURE?!?! and then hes like.. give him a hug now... so THEN i gather more courage.. and then give him a hug.. and... he pushes me away... it sucks.. i got REJECTED and BURNEEEDDD. so NOW i got reslly scared of him.. and i ran away and dropped sharon off... its not my fault i get scared and intimidated easily.. but i was really scared.. wow its weird.. now thinking about it.. its making me scared again..
thats what i noticed about myself.. i get scared of people really easily.. its not a good thing. but i cant help it.. im just weak like that.. i wish i was stronger.. i wish i didnt care as much.. i regret.. i regret alot.. i want to go back 5 months ago... just to change some stuff.. i dont know how it happened.. actaully i do.. but i didnt think it was gonna go on for that long... and since it did go for that long.. things changed just like that for me.. im still a teenager.. and i get easily influenced.. but i didnt tell you tonight how much i regreted and wished just to go back.. at the beginning.. i was being stubborn about it and hoping that you would invite to watch stuff.. but you never did.. so then i started doing my own business and got caught up with that crap.. but sooo many times i looked back.. and wished that i was there.. in your room doing stuff with you guys.. but i didnt do anything and just went on. i would wish to get back into that stuff but i felt like it would be too weird.. i dont know why. and i guess.. i would get jealous.. and thats why i went out, so i wouldnt have to see you 2 having fun. and now everything feels so different.. so i dont know what to do.
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